I’m sure in everyone’s life there is at least one moment when their growth is stunted. This growth that i’m talking about is not the physical, but rather the mental and spiritual one.
The more I think about it right now, the more it kind of feels that I needed to take a break this year…yet serving with Sycamore seemed like a calling. So was I called to rest and attempt focussing on work, or keep simmering along with both academics and God in both hands? Of course the latter! Yet, it doesn’t feel that way.
Why, after 3 years of hard work and acceptable averages, as well as a growing faith in the Salvation, have I lost it all this year? I have lost more than 10% of my average, and although I have firmed my belief in God, my fire is simply dying down once again. The dying of the fire is anything BUT post-TC syndrome.
Perhaps this struggle I face is actually from God. Perhaps I am meant to suffer several things this year, as I’ve already had. I no longer have to worry about our financial problems, as God provided once again, hallelujah…but now I have other problems to worry about.
I do notice that I am beginning to dislike more and more people in the church, seeing them as phonies, amongst other names. This, of course, is a violation of what we are taught by God- judge not lest ye be judged (i don’t actually KNOW the verse). Is my frustration and confusion at this point of life the work of Mr. Satan, or am I just not trying hard enough to reclaim the “covenant I’ve lost so easily”? Then again, salvation is not claimed by works, but by faith in Christ alone.
As my dad said, regarding problems and stress and other things troubling our minds and hearts:
Why do you stretch? You stretch because you want to relieve some stress right? When you stretch out, what form do you resemble? When your arms stretch outwards, you resemble the cross that Jesus died on…did you notice that? So how about you just stretch and lift your burdens to God?
Off to service I go again…I hope I truly haven’t turned into a lip-service Christian, but I probably already have been one for a while.