blogONE

I don’t quite remember when the last time I had a green Christmas, haha. But yes, yesterday was just another day and was full of picture editing! I think I’ll be uploading a bunch of pictures soon.

There are just times in life when you have no idea what is to come, and whether things that are currently happening will get worse or better. Kind of like someone’s health! How certain are we that the medicine and treatment we receive will actually make us better? Isn’t it simply through faith towards the doctors, pharmacists and general health science that whatever cure they have for our ailments will benefit us? Its easy to have faith in others, but not with God. Funny, isn’t it?

A few things came into my mind while having a chat with The Big Cheese last night. One of those vague things was the purpose of my diagnosis with Bell’s Palsy. What was the purpose of this? I remember now that I had previously asked to reclaim my faith – the amount of faith I had so easily lost after TC. If we remember what happened back in March, my little right wrist broke under several hundreds of Newtons of force and I had to play the guitar with my middle finger. We might also remember that we crashed the car. And, just a couple months ago, the car got hit and was in critical condition. In order to answer my own question of “what is the purpose of me with Bell’s Palsy?”, I had to answer “What was the purpose of all this “shit” happening?”. If you look at it from an optimistic point of view (because I prefer to be an optimist), everything bad that has happened to us has reflected glory and everything Good. Crashed the car once? “The angels were trying to slow you down. Sadly, they could do nothing about your hood.” Broke the hand? “When you were playing, it really looked like you didn’t have a cast on…it’s amazing.” Crashed the car a second time, end up in a ditch, walk out without a scratch and seeing your car as almost totaled? “I think it’s time a new team of angels came in…the ones from March have probably lost all their feathers now!” Through the bad, we were able to encourage others and bring praise back to God. “Wow, all this shit is happening to you guys, how can you POSSIBLY still praise and thank God? Shouldn’t that be the last thing you do? He must be punishing you, or playing with you!” We are standing, breathing and talking with you, and you still have the balls to say “how can you possibly still praise and thank God”!

Yes, this does sound incredibly big-headed. Yes, this does sound fanatic. Yes, this also sounds damn arrogant (actually, shouldn’t big-headed and arrogant be the same?). However, all this shows faith (or at least, I believe it shows faith). It shows perseverance. It shows character. It shows who is in charge. “And You will take the driver’s seat, and I will take the captain’s chair” (Sanctus Real – Captain’s Chair) You can plan your life all you want – where you’ll go get your graduates degrees, what area you’ll live in, what corporation you’ll move up in, what position you’ll get to, the amount of significant digits in your paycheck; however, whatever you plan will most likely never be intertwined with His plan. He might have similar plans as you do, but in a much different path, with a much different time line. Am I saying that we should all just “tahn see” (er…lie around like slouches?) and constantly go “Oh Lord, please guide my life as I sit here on my ass waiting for Your divine plan to get into motion.”? NO! We must continue to do whatever we need to do, according to what we believe is right – what we do as humans will eventually assimilate into His master plan, which CANNOT be understood or seen.

So, back to my question. Why do I have Bell’s Palsy? I have Bell’s Palsy because it is part of a master plan I do not and will not understand. It’s only AFTER it happens I will understand why I had it. Did I get it to experience the prejudice and insults some face everyday? Did I get it to see who amongst my friends judges me based on appearance (which is weak on a day-to-day basis anyway…I’m not exactly a model)? Did I get it to allow my interest to evaluate me more on who I am, rather than superficially (once again, judging me on looks is weak…I’m not a model, seriously)? Did I get it as part of punishment (which is rightly deserved, for all have sinned and fall short of the GLORY of the LORD)? Did I get it to observe the high prices of medication? The answers: Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe!!! (Yes, I notice I have more answers than questions, since I am answering more questions than shown )

Remember, live through faith. It’s not through your compliance you are saved, it is through your faith. Believing in God is one thing – even Satan believes in God! Having faith to follow Him is another story.