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“House warming” is a very serious term. It implies that the host has recently moved, and is hosting (why else would they be called the “host”?) a bunch of people at their place. Hosting people over means taking full responsibility of food, beverages and washrooms.

This is why God gave us the term “Get Together”, which puts somewhat limited responsibility on the host for food and/or beverages, since they are now allowed to impose a request for everyone to help pitch in

There are some requirements to having a formal/official get-together/house-warming — most (if not all) have not been fulfilled. Click past the jump for some of these quirky requirements and how I faired.

Firstly, your pad has got to be finished. By finished, I mean its got to have at least enough seats for people. The problem with my place is that there are still boxes everywhere. FAIL.

Optionally, it would be enjoyable if the house has been completed in its paint-job. Of course, this is just a bonus to the aesthetics, which may or may not contribute to the guests’ pleasure. The previous occupant of this place was a dick funny person, with his friends, and painted semi-gloss on one part of the wall and matte on another. This means we’ve got to sand the shit out of the wall and re-paint the place. We’ve got some of this done. No bonus points for aesthetics if anyone comes over. SEMI-FAIL.

Secondly, an incredibly important factor which is often missed by people, is weather. Weather can often make, or break, a get-together/house-warming. For example, the recent snow-storms would most-likely have broken a formal get-together/house-warming. There are a few reasons why severe/adverse weather is recommended to be avoided for a successful get-together.

1. Safety of the guests: You can’t have guests if they don’t get to your place
2. Peace of mind: Some of your guests might still be living at home, so their parents will be worried as hell on their way here. Not only will their parents be worried, but the hosts would be worried
3. Attendance: Good weather means those who RSVP will definitely be able to get to the place. Bad weather means some people might have to cancel.

With the recent snow storms, this has been nothing but fail.

Perhaps thirdly and finally, the most(??) important factor would be the hosts’ psychological readiness — if they don’t feel ready, they won’t be too willing to host a party over at their place. Psychological readiness of the host would also encompass whether they feel the current weather would allow maximum happiness/attendance (for a formal get-together). With this requirement, the guests couldn’t really invite themselves over. Well they could, but they’d just get a weird look or a “WTF?” thrown at them. I might be a little ready for an informal little get-together, but my parents surely aren’t ready to have a full blown one.

Now, some of these requirements wouldn’t really pertain to smaller, less formal get-togethers, but in the end…if the hosts didn’t know they were having a get-together/house-warming, there probably won’t be one when you mention it. We’ll call you.