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Continuing with the retroactive note uploads, I finally bring you the long awaited 2010 Winter Retreat notes, which featured Andrew Benedicion talking about Love & Relationships. And as outlined by Andrew himself:

• Message #1: Pro-Active Purity
  • Ephesians 5:3 [show] [3]But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. (ESV)
    ; Romans 13:11-14 [show] [11]Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. [12]The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. [13]Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. [14]But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. (ESV)
    
  • this message is focused on sexual purity in relationships and personal life
• the following 2 messages are for relationships in general…
  • Message #2: Pro-Active Holiness: Real Love Part 1 of 2
    • 1 Corinthians 13:4 [show] [4]Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant (ESV)
      -8a
  • Message #3: Pro-Active Holiness: Real Love Part 2 of 2
    • 1 Corinthians 13:4 [show] [4]Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant (ESV)
      -8a

Friday evening:

• ACT
  • Avoid temptation
    • Eph 5 [show] Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. [2]And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. [3]But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. [4]Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. [5]For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. [6]Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. [7]Therefore do not become partners with them; [8]for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light [9](for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), [10]and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. [11]Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. [12]For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. [13]But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, [14]for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." [15]Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, [16]making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. [17]Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. [18]And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, [19]addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, [20]giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, [21]submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. [22]Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23]For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24]Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. [25]Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26]that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27]so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28]In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29]For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30]because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32]This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33]However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)
      ; not even a hint of sin
      • don’t do “diet mentality” with lust/sin; CANNOT according to God’s standard
  • Change your habits (Note: I didn’t write this down, but I am thinking this is what was said…)
  • Take initiative toward change (Note: I didn’t write this down, but I am thinking this is what was said…)
• “Your worst days are never so bad as beyond THE REACH of God’s grace. Your best days are never so good that you are beyond THE NEED of God’s grace.” – Jerry Bridges

Saturday Morning:

• 1 John 4:7-12 [show] [7]Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. [8]Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. [9]In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. [10]In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. [11]Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. [12]No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (ESV)
  
• 1 Cor 13:4-8 [show] [4]Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant [5]or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [6]it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. [7]Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. [8]Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. (ESV)
  
• Love is…self sacrifice
  • only possible with Christ
• patience & kindness…
  • with people, not circumstances
  • ie. loving enemies: loving those who hate you
  • real spiritual love is for sake of Christ; selfish love is for own sake (own gain)
• envy…
  • in ministry our goal is to make ourselves dispensible
  • envy = “to boil”
  • killing envy: love
  • “hard to love someone who does what you do…but better”
• boast & pride…
  • boasting = being full of hot air
  • pride is only disease that makes everyone sick except self
  • boasting hurts everyone except self…
• rudeness…
  • to be insensitive to others feelings
• self-seeking…
  • 2 types of people: those who think of rights and those who think of duties
• not easily angered…
  • what Jesus said on cross
  • righteous anger…against things that anger God
  • anger against people is wrong

Saturday evening:

• keep no record of wrong…
  • those experiencing God’s grace must become graceful people
  • those who have been forgiven must become forgiving people
  • “forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us”
    • pray the Lord’s Prayer more meaningfully
• does not delight in evil; rejoices with truth…
  • if you really love someone, you will be filled with grief when they are in sinful nature
• bears all things…
  • always protects
  • concerned with value of person
  • CORRECT others, but not by shaming them; cover with silence
  • Isaiah 1:8 [show] [8]And the daughter of Zion is left like a booth in a vineyard, like a lodge in a cucumber field, like a besieged city.
    
• believes all things…
  • will believe in optimism for the person
  • always trust
• hopes all things…
  • keeps hoping/praying etc. even if pain comes
• endures all things…
  • always perseveres
• acknowledge that…
  • love is a command
  • Christ’s power in you to love (Rom 5:5 [show] [5]and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (ESV)
    , Gal 5:22 [show] [22]But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (ESV)
    )
  • love is the norm (1 John 4:7-10 [show] [7]Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. [8]Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. [9]In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. [10]In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (ESV)
    )
  • love must be practiced

Sunday morning devo:

• From Philip Yancey’s I Was Just Wondering:
  • “God made me the way I am: with my peculiar facial features, my handicaps and limitations, my body build, my mental capacity. I can spend my life resenting this quality or that one, and demanding that God change my ‘raw material’. Or I can humbly accept myself, flaws and all, as the raw material God can work with.”
• Rom 12:2 [show] [2]Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (ESV)
  , Rom 12:18 [show] [18]If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (ESV)
  

Sunday morning:

• Eph 5 [show] Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. [2]And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. [3]But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. [4]Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. [5]For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. [6]Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. [7]Therefore do not become partners with them; [8]for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light [9](for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), [10]and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. [11]Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. [12]For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. [13]But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, [14]for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." [15]Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, [16]making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. [17]Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. [18]And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, [19]addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, [20]giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, [21]submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. [22]Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23]For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24]Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. [25]Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26]that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27]so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28]In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29]For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30]because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32]This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33]However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)
  
• Matt 25 [show] "Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. [2]Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. [3]For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, [4]but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. [5]As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. [6]But at midnight there was a cry, 'Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' [7]Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. [8]And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' [9]But the wise answered, saying, 'Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.' [10]And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. [11]Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, lord, open to us.' [12]But he answered, 'Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.' [13]Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour. [14]"For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. [15]To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. [16]He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. [17]So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. [18]But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. [19]Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. [20]And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' [21]His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' [22]And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.' [23]His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' [24]He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, [25]so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' [26]But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? [27]Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. [28]So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. [29]For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. [30]And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' [31]"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. [32]Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. [33]And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. [34]Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. [35]For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, [36]I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' [37]Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? [38]And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? [39]And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' [40]And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' [41]"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. [42]For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, [43]I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' [44]Then they also will answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?' [45]Then he will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.' [46]And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." (ESV)
  ; unexpected coming
• 2 Cor 11:2 [show] [2]For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. (ESV)
  
  • Paul is like the person who helps get the bride ready
• jealous love for the bride
• Rev 19:6 [show][6]Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, "Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.
  ; marriage supper of the Lamb
• measure of holiness = relationship with:
  • God
  • parents
  • others
• love cannot be based on personality, looks etc. alone
  • can always find better
  • God doesn’t love based on this; CANNOT love us because we are “good”
    • we’re never good enough
• “A Christian is perfectly free lord of all, subject to none. BUT a Christian is perfectly dutiful servant of all, subject to all”
  • free in Christ, slave to all