This past week at Calvary the guest speaker spoke on Isaiah 6:1-6 [show] In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. [2]Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. [3]And one called to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" [4]And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. [5]And I said: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" [6]Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. (ESV)
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with relation to vision.

One topic or resonating theme dealt with pride and service. Now, apparently King Uzziah was the bee’s knees when he first started as a servant of the Lord. The Lord’s victories through King Uzziah started to get to his head and he became filled with pride and thought he could do anything he wanted (2 Chronicles 26:16-21 [show] [16]But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the LORD his God and entered the temple of the LORD to burn incense on the altar of incense. [17]But Azariah the priest went in after him, with eighty priests of the LORD who were men of valor, [18]and they withstood King Uzziah and said to him, "It is not for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the LORD, but for the priests, the sons of Aaron, who are consecrated to burn incense. Go out of the sanctuary, for you have done wrong, and it will bring you no honor from the LORD God." [19]Then Uzziah was angry. Now he had a censer in his hand to burn incense, and when he became angry with the priests, leprosy broke out on his forehead in the presence of the priests in the house of the LORD, by the altar of incense. [20]And Azariah the chief priest and all the priests looked at him, and behold, he was leprous in his forehead! And they rushed him out quickly, and he himself hurried to go out, because the LORD had struck him. [21]And King Uzziah was a leper to the day of his death, and being a leper lived in a separate house, for he was excluded from the house of the LORD. And Jotham his son was over the king's household, governing the people of the land. (ESV)
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). As a result of his pride, King Uzziah became a leper…

The speaker touched on how Uzziah’s pride (I am the shit!) led to the downfall of his ministry (I am cursed as a leper and will now die…), as well as how many of us who serve with our talents/gifts in our respective ministries fall victim to pride as we receive praise and, perhaps more significantly, bolster ourselves with the notion that we are good at what we do. This hit home, deep within the neurons of my brain and the chambers of my heart. I am probably amongst the rare few who will actually confess that: Yes, I do think I do a good job [with others] serving in musical worship. However, I can definitely be even better…

Perhaps it was this lofty thinking which contributed to my fall; certainly it is not the only cause. The pride and knowledge that “We can lead these songs and make them sound good” has ultimately helped silence me. I wonder if it helped the Christian community alienate itself from me though? I wonder how many hated the way I sang, played guitar, and contributed to the teams? Is every church like this, or was it just that one? Will I ever play for the Lord again?

Perhaps the final song for this upcoming Weekend22 (maybe apart from a cover or two?), this one started out with the most difficulty writing lyrics for. I started out just humming, and felt this should have been an instrumental/interlude/lyricsless song…but with encouragement and a mention of “sunshine”, the words began flowing. That, combined with a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon (to which I neglected posting my sermon notes until later)…resulted in a story about a beautiful day being met with the realization a storm is inevitable. This is continued with ascension to a high point bringing the storm into perspective, and finally an earthquake signifying the end of everything. The story concludes (or rather, truly begins) by meeting the one who kept you protected during this time, even taking all harm upon himself, telling you to spread the news…but alas, you admit that your meekness is the hindrance.

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I see the bright sunshine all around me, I feel the warmth on my skin; its surprising.
But it won’t always be so sunny, I know that there’s a storm a coming; can I still smile?

You take me up to a mountaintop to overlook the city.
The view, it takes my breath away; its mesmerizing.
But up ahead in the horizon, awfully close to Mount Zion, I see the churning clouds!

There’s lightning and thunder now, striking all around. Massive trembling in the ground — Earthquake!

I wake up to find your body protecting me.
There were scars on your hands and feet, they were bleeding.
You helped me up and told me to go back to the city, and tell everyone what has happened here on Calvary.
But I don’t know if I can do it, my tongue gets tied and I get so timid; can You still smile?

Continuing to Weekend22 is another one! Originally I was going to call this “The 7th Roman Chapter”..but its probably too serious? But then again, these are serious words and a serious topic (Romans is a really serious book), reflecting on the concept of sin, and the addictions toward filling our evil desires… And if Paul didn’t write in Greek, oops!

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I hate what I do, and I do what I hate.
Its like an addiction, I need my fix…I need it, I want it, I crave it; its killing me, killing me, killing me, killing…

Wretched man I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (The) I AM.

I try to do whats right, but it always ends up wrong.
It feels like I’m in a fight, and I’m already gone.

Its like an endless downward spiral and I can’t shake it.
Like we were on a trail, I slipped and fell; can You, can You find me?
Because I’m tired, and weak, and unworthy to be brought back to where Your glory resides.
I should die.